Losing Weight is BULLSHIT

Losing Weight is BullShit.

Yep, I said it.  I’m sure its not the first time you’ve seen profanity on the internet, so lets move forward.

This is me physically stepping on my soapbox for the next thousand odd words.

Losing weight is bullshit.  I don’t know who coined the term “losing” weight, but they should be shot.  

It’s not like you turn around and say “now where did I put that extra 25 pounds I was carrying yesterday?”  You don’t pull you head out of your butt on the ride home from the mall frantically scanning the floor and dashboard and between the seats and in the glovebox and in the seat pockets looking for the 25 pounds you left on the counter at Macy’s.  Your stomach doesn’t almost drop out of your ass when you frantically realize that you lost sight of the 25 pounds you were baby sitting at the park for your friend while she got her nails done. No, you don’t LOSE weight.  And unlike misplacing your wallet or your friend’s kid - you don’t really want to FIND it either, cuz believe me, after you go through this “loss”, if the weight shows up again, you don’t sleep better, you’re not relieved, and you certainly won’t be promising yourself to NEVER lose that again!!

Losing weight is bullshit.

I don’t care if you authored the greatest healthiest most sustainable diet (ahem-paleo-ahem) ever! Don’t advertise it as a way to lose weight!  Its a guide book, a self help book, a shoulder to cry on, works of encouragement, a resource for support and a reminder of how to make the right choices.  That’s how the number on the scale goes down - you make choices.  You chose what you eat for breakfast, if you’re going to stop at Starbucks on the way to work, if you’re going to partake in the evil box of doughnuts on the secretary’s desk, if you’re going to join the gang for lunch at Mc Fatty’s for Bob’s birthday - and this is all before 8AM! So lets say you do go to McFatty’s -- you still have a choice! So while your skinny fat (I’ll get to that later) co worker mows down on her kids meal chicken mcprocessed with fries and a “coke zero” and jabba da hut from down the hall enjoys his double quarter pounder with cheese, you pick at your yucky browning lettuce removing the processed cheese, croutons and what are you left with?  A few measly ounces of “grilled” chicken breast, a cherry tomato or two, and some lettuce - mostly the big fat crunchy parts that no one really likes, and unless you carry well seasoned olive oil in your purse, no dressing either.  And if you think on shows like the Biggest Loser that the judges are really grossed out by what their contestants used to eat - like Mc Fatty’s?? Think again, we are PROGRAMMED to enjoy that stuff... and unless you’ve lived under a rock, or in Portland, chances are you’ve eaten McDonalds, or a French Fry, or a Bloomin Onion - and they taste DAMN good -- those restaurants wouldn’t exist if that weren’t the case! So good on you for making that ONE choice.  

Will that one choice pay off in the end - that one lunch? Probably not.  You could weigh yourself that morning, and the next morning after eating the Double Double with a side of diabetes and a large liquid sugar - easy on the ice, and likely not notice much of a difference.  Its the combination of those 10 choices you made BEFORE lunch, and the 30 some odd more you’ll make before going to bed that add up.  

Losing weight is BULL SHIT! 

You make CHOICES, one, hungry growling stomach with no paleo snacks within reach, at a time.

Its not easy.  Seriously.  The figureheads in this business make it look that way.  Its not, it takes extra money on groceries, which not everyone has.  It takes time, which is something I KNOW we all could use more of.  It takes arguing - yep, arguing.  With your kids, your husband, everyone in your household that’s subjected to your decisions, OR, you have to sit there and watch them eat shit, knowing your family is committing a slow suicide, and you can preach til you’re blue in the face knowing full well the decision is theirs - not yours. It takes balls to sit at a restaurant EVERY time you’re with a new group of friends and explain WTF you’re eating, why, and no, potatoes are not OK.  And have people challenge you, and ask you well what about this food? and what about that food? and what is cauliflower okay but not corn? And your steak is cooked, I thought you said if you could “KILL IT” you could eat it?!  When all you REALLY want to do is enjoy that yummy seared tuna that you sacrificed the pizza for. 

It SUCKS sitting across from your skinny fat coworker eating her lean quizine pasta with asian veggies and some sort of goey poultry lumps, asking - - why do you do that? this works just fine! I’ve been a size 2 since sophomore year of high school, and thats just cuz I finally got a butt and had to move up from a size zero! AHAHAHA!  You want to take your size 8, clean and jerking ass, and overhead squat that bitch all the way to the doctors office for a body scan, and smile at her politely when she registers 32% body fat, and you rock out at a respectable 14%! BOOM!  But you cant... so you choose how to handle that. Every meal, every day.  Every drive home.  Every birthday party.  Every lunch. 

So, here’s to you - you’re killin it.  And I’M proud of you! 

If you make 29 bad choices today, and 1 good one, you did it! You conquered something inside yourself and did the right thing - tomorrow, lets make it two, and go from there.  And a month from now, when we’re 29/30 good choices a day, lets step on the scale and you tell me if you misplaced the weight, or if you challenged yourself every minute of every day to get there.

Soapbox - done.

Now, for an uninteresting look at what I ate today:

Breakfast: 3 hard boiled eggs, microwave bacon, fish oil and water

Lunch: turkey breast, red pepper and hummus for dipping - more fish oil

Snack: Black coffee, a few mints to kill the fish burps, and a handful or two of almonds

Dinner: HUGE salad with greens, yummy taco-esque seasoned chicken, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers and some feta.  Yes, feta. Mmmmm.

Snack while i write?  A bag of turkey jerky... my first! not bad! 

Thanks to the three of you that read this... it makes me feel better that I sacrificed sleep to do so.