Lost in the woods

So, for the past few days I have been without technology, and whaddya know, I'm paying for it!!

Apparently in 2011 one can no longer go more than 8 hours without a cell phone, email, FB update, or blog post without catching hell.. what a shame.  Imagine the hell I had to pay being without internet or phone reception Saturday through Tuesday! Yikes!

This past extended weekend I was up at my cottage, a beautiful and humble place right on the banks of the Menominee River (Google it).  I had a great time celebrating my awesome Mother and Grandmother for Mother's Day!

So, what did I eat?! Good question...

Saturday -
Breakfast: Bacon and eggs at home
Lunch: two bags of beef jerky on the ride up

Stopped for very important Kentucky Derby hats at the local dollar store - plastic hats adorned with plastic flower vines - adorable!

Once I arrived, I proceeded to make a few pitchers of margaritas! The recipe is from a good friend, and I have been sworn to secrecy not to share.. but if you're ever around - I'll be happy to make em for ya! And what's better with margaritas than chips and salsa, right?

Oh the black bean salsa... a local deli where I grew up makes this salsa, and it is MAGICAL! Its essentially pico de gallo with black beans... but holy hell, its amazing.  Back in high school when I had the metabolism of a humming bird, my best friend and I would eat that stuff with lime tortilla chips by the POUND.  Literally... you know those big deli containers they use for potato salad and other midwest picnic staples, yeah, we got those filled with salsa!

I widely sliced a red pepper, and used those as a vector for salsa to mouth.  The black beans aren't paleo, but other than that it wasn't too off the mark! I think next time I may salt the red pepper.. though that sounds a little gross, I was missing the salt from the tortilla chips -- anyone have other suggestions for substitutions?  I love Kale chips, but they're not sturdy enough for salsa!

Dinner was Sheboygan style brats - a local favorite!! Lucky me, my dad had some VENISON brats - YUM!!! I've been missing venison... sooo much... so so much... I enjoyed a few brats, no bun, with mustard for dinner... along with another margarita or two!  The table was filled with buns, french fries, desserts, etc - and I impressed myself by only stealing one french fry from my mom!!

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Breakfast - well, I cooked cuz its mothers day!!! And, I hate doing dishes, so if I can get on the skillet first, I win! Just ask my husband, who cannot cook - we have a great thing going, I cook, he does dishes!! Its perfect! I cooked bacon, sausage, over easy eggs, and pancakes. Yes, pancakes.  Oh how much does it suck to pour the perfect pancake knowing I won't be able to enjoy any?! Lots. Lots and Lots.  My dad, in his infinate wisdom, has gotten into the trade of maple syrup making.  He informed me over breakfast that he estimates he's invested over $10K in this project... why? I have no idea... He's close to retiring and apparently needed ANOTHER hobby. But, hey, we get some really yummy maple syrup out of it! There is some debate in the paleo community about the "paleo-ness" of maple syrup.  All it is is boiled down tree sap, so? You make the call? I boil my paleo soups, cook my paleo chicken? What do you think?

So, how does a paleo nomad enjoy said syrup? I cut up a bowl full of strawberries and spooned a little syrup on those!! Mmmmmmmmm

Lunch
A leftover brat...or two.

Dinner
Well, dinner I took a dive off the deep end.  My family returned to civilization and I decided to spend an extra day at my grandparents house.  You know what they say "When the going gets tough, I go to grandmas"?? Well, the going wasn't too tough, but I went to grandma's anyway.  Grandma wanted pizza on Mothers Day, and well, its her day so she can do whatever she damn well pleases!  She was very concerned that I wouldn't be able to eat, or find anything we liked, so she kept reconsidering pizza or not... I told her, to hell with it Grandma.  Tonight, we feast on pizza! And we did.  And it was delicious. And I paid for that decision all night with bad dreams, heart burn, and my stomach was a wreck the next day.  Eew.  Was it worth it? It was delicious and she was happy, so, YES!

Monday

Breakfast
Bacon and eggs, of course! Seriously, this stuff never gets old.

Lunch
I learned how to make a centuries old meatball recipe, from my mother's father's mother's father.  Yeah, that'd be my great great grandfather, and it may be older than him!! It took 3 lbs of meat, of which we used VENISON (man, I wish I could get this stuff all the time) and 2 cups of bread crumbs... the whole while I was thinking how could I make this paleo? Maybe almond flour? We shall see... I'll try it at home and let you know.  Anyway, they were AWESOME!

Dinner
Approximately halfway between my grandparents house and my parents house is.... well... nothing.  A few gas stations, lots of fields, and one Italian restaurant, so that's where we met for the handoff, meaning, I went back home with my parents.  So, italian restaurant... what do you think is on the menu? More pizza... hell no.  Pasta? I don't think so.  Yucky brown leaf salad - yikes?!  So, in scouring the menu I found something that looked alright.  Under the heading of "Italian Classics" or something like that... was a dish described as locally made italian sausage sautee'd with peppers and onions, in a marinara sauce!!! PERFECT! NO PASTA! NO CHEESE! TOTALLY PALEO!! I danced on the table until my father told me I was embarrassing him, and should learn better dance moves.  Well, I ordered and the food arrived.  Whaddya know, they LIED!  It WAS a pasta dish, and it was COVERED in melted cheese.  I scraped the cheese off to the side, and just avoided the pasta, it wasn't too bad, but I felt deceived. Damnit.

Tuesday
Breakfast - bacon and eggies! Still delicious!

Lunch - I don't think I ate lunch... this was only yesterday, so I feel like I should remember.  It's finals week for my masters program, so I'm playing "school" while on vacation. Awesome.

Dinner - my mom and dad work full time, though, I don't know why.  I think it's so they have something to do.  Anyway, my mom loves whats called "Market Day".  Not a clue what that is, but its mostly frozen entree's and sides.  So, I had some Market Day turkey steaks, and a whole package of asparagus.  Mmmm - thanks mom!!  She enjoyed cheese and crackers for dinner, and my dad finished my leftover sausage/pepper/onion montage from the night before.  I cried a little when I saw her eating, but what can you do! Can't say I haven't tried!  More on this later...